The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
