I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
