Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
