Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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