Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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