And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
