Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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