im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
