once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
