3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just want to make out with him forever
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
