i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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