my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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