remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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