lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
