It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize