these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
