6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
