I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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