batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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