Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
