I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
