College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
