I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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