the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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