My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
