peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I FOUND THE LEGS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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