before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
