So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
