does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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