the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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