He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
