You did not just play the dead husband card again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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