I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
