I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
