apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
