my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
