FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
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My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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