I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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