i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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