My room smells like vodka and shame
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize