Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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