Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
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so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
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Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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