i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
