Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
