you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
