try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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