I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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