just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize