i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
