I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
