There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She's JV to your varsity
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
