I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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