I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
