Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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