Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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