got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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