if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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