I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
