I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
