Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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