guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize