well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so let's talk penis.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
