that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
