I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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