remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
