There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
