I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
