She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
