He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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