i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
