She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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